Such a Girl

Our dog trainer wants me to walk Abby at least twice a day, which, I’m sorry- just ain’t gonna happen.  She can run around in her huge backyard and chase squirrels, right?  Apparently, our trainer doesn’t consider that focused exercise.  When did we get so fussy over our animals, did you know that they tell you now to brush their teeth everyday, every day, are you kidding me? – and there is even such a thing as animal day cares for working animal parents, have we lost our minds?  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE animals- and they need proper care, but some of the things out there seem a little obsessive.

So, I try to walk her once a day.  It doesn’t always work out, but I try…

She has actually turned into a really great running partner, the funny thing is she is such a girl.  The other day I decided to try to run before I got my day started- now my day gets started at 5am so I came into the kitchen with her leash at 4:30am and she looked at me like, you have got to be kidding.

I took her out back first, to do her business, (no stopping on our walks, our trainer says it is my time to be her leader) and it had rained that night and she wouldn’t go out into the grass.  She would put her paw out and then pull it back like, mommy do I really have to get my feet wet.  So, after a little more dancing, she finds a dry place in our pine straw and off-we-GO!

Well, this is her first time running with me in the dark, and she was hilarious, so timid.  Usually she breaks out into this full fledged gallop, but not then, she was so cautious and hesitant.  At one point she stopped dead in her tracks and refused to move.  A low muffled growl edged out and kept a steady rumble.  I almost got scared too.  There we were just two girls out for a run, I mean, what were we doing out at 4:30am! I was glad we had street lamps in our neighborhood because as my mind was racing of all the possible senerios I saw what she couldn’t discern- it was an electric box.

With a sigh of relief, a giggle, and a tug we were off.  I’m not sure if we’ll keep that up, I like the schedule of starting my day off with Abby and a good run, but I just can’t wrap my head around being up at 4:30 in the morning.

We’ll see.

Look out, not down

OK so I know that most people< and I can include myself in this senario, say to take things one step at a time.  Especially when it comes to life or big challenges, the whole God will only show you enough for one day so that you will remember to lean on Him kind of stuff- or, or, I used this one-God’s word is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path which should translate as a flashlight on a dark path is a lot different that a floodlight of spot light showing you the whole way.  And while I am not trying in anyway to mock the Bible, or the message of trusting in God each and every day with new faith and trust- God has been leading me through a slightly different way of following Him.  Now, mind you, this is not for everyone, but if you’re like me it just might encourage you.

So the window out of my office at work looks down to a parking lot, not very interesting unless you want to know who’s there and who’s not and when they come and when they go, assuming you even pay attention to what they drive and associate them with their cars, which I do not, so basically it’s a car lot and concrete…I’ve been in my office for several months and just the other day I happened to look out, I mean shoulders back, head high, looked out over the parking lot and out in the distance there is the most beautiful forest and thick hedge of trees, all green and bushy.  I just stood and stared and marveled at what a beautiful view I had when I looked out and not down.  And God gave me a gentle nudge in my spirit as if to say keep looking out.

This morning I find myself in sunny California with a hotel room view very similar to my office.  It’s basically the parking garage and parking lots, lots of concrete and cars.  But when I sat down this morning, and pulled back the shades, (I’m a let all the sun shine in kind of girl) I looked out, not down and was right in front of the LAX landing strip.  One plane after another was landing majestically and magnificently in front of me.

I am a dreamer or sorts, a futurist, a visionary and one thing we can’t allow ourselves to do is start looking down.  It’s the day to day footsteps that are like grey concrete and would surely bore us to tears.  But if we can remember always to square our shoulders, lift our chins, and look out- I mean dare to really look out, oh the wonders I believe God will show us.  God tends to share things with me way before I need them, so I am learning this lesson and tucking it away in my heart for future use, but to any other dreamers out there I just wanted to send the message look out, not down.

BIG TRIP; little signs

I woke up early today and packed for a big trip, big implying important, not big as in distance or duration. While I am not at liberty to share all that is going on in my life in the way of new adventures my job is taking me I just have to download a small bit of my day so far.

OK, so, I have this big trip to take- I would be lying to say I wasn’t nervous, I mean, I am off to meet someone who I didn’t know about until only a few days ago, but who has been explained to me as a highly influencial person in the endeavor I am heading up. He and his wife are actually going to host us in their home, which actually took the nervousness down a few notches, how cool is that right?! So now I am half way nervous and all the way excited and off the the airport at the break of daylight.

When I pulled into long term parking the lot was jammed, cars up on the grass jammed- I thought I could miss my plane driving around all this mess! So I said, God, I need a little help here, and He said go down three rows and turn left.

Yup, and who says God doesn’t talk to us?

One, Two, Three I counted and left I went. There it was, all packaged up in a pretty bow and I justed smiled and looked up as if to say, thanks dad!

I got on the bus that takes you to the airport and all the men on board were complaining about how long they had been circling the lot, 5, 10, 25 minutes- they we’re pretty mad. I just smiled again and felt like God said, I have prepared you for this trip just as I have prepared your way.

So next, I get onto the airplane- next to a screaming baby and his mother. Actually, it didn’t bother me all that bad, I felt really bad for the mom. But when she offered to move to another row I didn’t stop her. And I wound up with three seats all to myself…I stretched out and read one of the books of the person I am going to meet with, and I have to say-it resonated with the core of who I am on every page. I actually found myself wanting a tattoo at the end of the book, but that’s probably another blog.

I had a layover in Texas and when we got back on the plane it was jammed packed, every seat filled-oh well, my three seat stretch was nice while it lasted. But as I made it to the back of the aircraft, there it was, my row, number 25, all empty, and the doors were shut for take off! This time I slept in those three seats all to myself and smiled, the Lord has gone before me…

my favorite thing so far has been checking into my hotel room, let me first say that my favorite flowers are tulips and my favorite color is yellow, so I get into my room and there is this picture…It is a field of red tulips, so many of them that the back of the photo it’s just a red blur- but there, standing joyfully in the middle of the field was one yellow tulip. Can you believe it?! I could just feel God all around me like those red tulips, and there I was, joyful and yellow, and destined to be there, right in the center of His garden. This time my smile erupted into laughter, as I said out loud- it’s good to be here with You too.

Every day adventure

Happy Labor Day! Translated, oh happy day to sleep in from work and not have to drive the kids to school or do homework or…well, you get the idea!

My family took me out to breakfast today. I could eat breakfast for any meal of the day, it’s hands down my favorite meal, and I know they love me because it was nearly 2:00 this afternoon when we went to breakfast.

We went to one of our little favorite little brunch spots and then as we were walking back to our car I remembered there being a large pond behind the shopping complex so I decided we needed a little every day adventure…

We started down a winding sidewalk and sure enough, there it was, probably about a three acre pond filled with ducks and geese and a big fountain and I started to wish we had brought the left over pancakes to feed them when we started seeing their heads pop up; turtles, about 15 of them- big ones, the size of basket balls, and a little baby one about the size of a quarter. I felt almost as if we were at the zoo.

We soon decided we needed to trek around the lake, and so our adventure began…

The first three quarters of the hike was relatively easy, a few park benches marked the way and you could tell that it was a favorite picnic spot of sorts, other than dodging the occasional red ant pile it was all good. We soon reached a run off point where the pond spilled over to some type of drainage unit, my eight year old decided he could walk through the spillway- that is until he got right up to it and decided the water was rushing a little faster than he thought. I stood on the other side and after some coaching he took my hand and crossed through it. Of course, it didn’t take long before little brother wanted to do the same thing, except I didn’t think his weight would be able to withstand the current, luckily Daddy was all over it because as I looked back the water pushed Matthew but Chip was right there to pick him up…yeah daddy!

As we continued around the pond we reached what seemed like a dead end, the trees hung low and as we crouched down under them it was almost as if we found ourself in another world. There was a very murky river feeding the pond with all sorts of trees and hanging vines-it looked just like Louisiana swap and like an alligator could come crawling up at any moment. I stood there for a little while admiring this strange little hide away tucked in our suburbian town and told my husband this would make a cool place to shoot a movie clip. Then I announced, OK, time to turn back.

My boys were treking onward- and my favorite quote of the day came from my six year old, “There is nothing to be afraid of, we have our whole family here!”

Yes, so you probably guessed we kept going with Chip at the healm…it was sort freaky, Chip and I weren’t quite sure if it was a high school party hangout or a homeless hotel but someone had been there. Finally we reached a place where the river subside and it looked like we could cross on the rock bed. I climbed down into the bed first and soon realized it wasn’t rock, but good old North Carolina clay. There were a good amount of vines coming out of the other bank and I knew if Chip could hand me a boy I could boost him on the bank and they could climb there way to the other side. First one made it over no problem. Second one, well let’s just say no matter how big your children get it’s always hard to not think of them as your “little” boy, but Sammy is not so little anymore and when Chip tossed our eighty pound son into my arms, let’s just say we got a little muddy.

With a lot of laughter we all made it over to the other side. Except my flip flop that is, it was stuck in the clay. (I hadn’t planed on this adventure when I got dressed this morning, and I wasn’t quite prepared in the shoe department, but oh well) I hoped around like a flamingo while Chip rescued my flip flop, and we were off again.

The underbrush was thicker on that side and there were more spider webs and holes to dodge but soon we could see the fountain through the trees, we had made it all the way around the pond! Families looked at us oddly as the four of us came toppling out of the woods and back to civilization. We all gave each other high fives and felt like we had conquered something huge! Sammy said, we did you favorite things today mommy, and I have to tell you my heart was truly filled. I took Chip’s hand in mine, there’s nothing to fear when your family is together! I quoted Matthew- and we smiled, these are the moments we’ll look back on and treasure…then I announced, next time let’s bring food to feed the ducks, but first let’s go home and take a bath!

somebody say OPAH!

Yup, I am going to a big Greek wedding tonight!

Can’t say I’m not thrilled, there is always something special about going to a wedding, something that seems to bring you back to your wedding day and whisper sweet promises in your ear again, and suddenly everything is new and exciting. Yes, I’m totally a girl and sentimental and romantic and blah, blah, blah right? So what, that’s me!

I knew it from the moment we got the invitation, this wedding is going to be beautiful, from the weight of the card stock, to the depth of the color in the foil, to the location embossed on the pages…I can’t wait.

We are friends with the groom, he owns some amazing restaurants in town, and he’s catered my husband’s business parties for the last few years.  Chip is going to play his music there, he doesn’t do weddings so I am kind of nervous for him- especially when it comes to the wedding march- but I know he’s going to rock it!

The groom asked Chip last night at the rehersal if I am going to do my M.C Hammer at the reception.  We went to a party of his once and I got thrown into the middle of the dance circle- kind of freaking out with about a hundred people staring at me- so I busted out the snake, the running man, the Roger rabbit, and finished of with that MC Hammer move, you know the one where he grabs his foot and pulls it back and forth and then jumps through the hole made by his grip.  Yes, I am a product of the 80’s so those moves may not conger anything in your mind- but I was hoping that night would not be remembered.  It’s hard to imagine that little dance routine in the staletto heals and floor length silk gown I had planned on wearing tonight- so at the very least this should be an interesting evening…everybody shout OPAH!

church bells

Went outside this morning to take my dog to, well you know, and brought my coffee because it was one of those cooler mornings here where a little fog was lingering close to the ground and I just wanted to absorb the solitude.  The chair I sat in was pretty wet from the dew and while I was trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to stay out there, now that my butt was wet, I heard them ringing softly in the distance.

Church bells shouldn’t be such a odd sound seeing as I, we, live in a city that I believe is 3rd in the world of most churches per capita, whatever that means (and don’t quote me, if I’m wrong it’s still close) But still, out of the five years we have lived here I can’t say I have ever heard that noise.  For a moment, my whole yard seemed to agree with me, the wind hushed, my dog stood perfectly statuesque with her ear perked, even the locust seemed to still as we just listened to the sound that lofted through our yard. I was swept away for a moment by the haunting of those bells until all too quickly a bird landed on a near by bush my dog went dashing after it, and well the moment was gone.

I took a walk through my yard and as I neared the back of our acre I heard them again, singing softly in the distance, and I couldn’t help but wonder who was gathered there under the melody of those choruses.  As I stood there I thought about how it must have been in olden times when the church bells rang to summon the city to worship, I would have gone I reasoned with myself- how could you resist the beauty?

And then I began to wonder, what beauties does the church posses now that would draw our city, your city, to worship?  What melodies are lofting through the streets of this community?  What fragrance is my life putting off in this neighborhood?  How can I live in such a way as to have an effect like the church bells I heard this morning, causing the things around me to stop, and listen, and long for something more beautiful- more lovely, would it make a difference?

The things that hits me the hardest about these bells is they have probably been there longer than I have been alive, and yet something about this morning, this day, I heard them for what seemed like the first time.   I find myself wondering what other small beauties linger around me, us, every day that we can’t hear through the noise of life.  And I find myself asking God to open my eyes, even wider, to find His presence and His love in these every day beauties, and to give me the strength to sit still long enough to hear His voice through them, so that I might live a life like one of those church bells ringing softly in the distance and haunting those around me with a higher purpose, and beauty, and grace…

what’s the deal people!

Who made the adoption process so crazy long and tedious, I mean if parents who wanted to get pregnant had to under go all that you do to adopt we would have no children today anywhere and I don’t think I am exaggerating here! Please excuse my need to vent frustrations but we are moving into four years of waiting to bring our little girl home and this is just ridiculous people, these kids need loving homes…the latest news I’ve heard from our social worker is that Hong Kong just doesn’t have any babies right now and we should think about changing to a different country. Do you seriously expect me to believe this crap, I mean what country just doesn’t have babies? It’s getting to the point where you start questioning your agency and if they out to steal your money and totally fraud you, I hate this. I mean, I get the home study, make sure we are not psychos and can take care of a child and all that, but once we’ve been approved what is all this waiting about, and no babies, just tell us the truth, what is the hold up?

Talk about being completely at the mercy of other people and other governments, for someone who really finds security in being in charge I am totally walking through a season of surrender that’s really humbling and uncomfortable. Hey God, my hands are up, the white flag is waving can we get a little a help here?

crock-pottin-it

So…the life of a working mom leaves me short on time and that’s an understatement, I have been looking for ways to save time in the kitchen and reading the 30 minute meals and all that. The thing is by the time I get home I want to see my kids, I don’t want to start cooking and they are hungry and ready to eat, that’s why when I got this cookbook for crock-pot meals I thought I had found all my answers and was sooo excited, I even got the whole family excited about our new dinners. I sat on the living room floor one saturday and planned out meals for all week, I had even planned on blogging each night and if the recipe was good share it here…funny thing (and please, no offense if you love “the pot”) they didn’t work out so good.

First, you can’t just throw the stuff in the pot, well you can but they recommend that you brown the meat or cook the noodles or rice, anyway this had me up at 4:30 (am, don’t ask) then we’re away from the house longer than I guess it should cook because it would always burn on the bottom, I’m talking an inch of char, not to mention everything just seemed to melt together into one unified flavor even one unified color sometimes… So, what started out as an exciting adventurous week in the kitchen that I thought I could share with all of you turned out to be a total disaster.

My family was nice about it, (and even nicer when I got rid of the pot) but the only nice part for me was the idea of coming home from work, kicking off my heels, and putting the crock-pot onto the already set table to sit down for a nice meal with my family, I guess that’s why people do take out.

bottle that energy and sell it!

Have you ever watched kids play, maybe your own, and wondered where do they get all that energy?! I’ve heard countless moms and grandmoms say if we could only bottle that energy and sell it we’d be millionaires.  Well, I think I found the secret…it’s sort of simple but it really works.

I remember from college health courses that a sedintary life leads to more sedintary living, in other words the more still we are the more tired we become.  Besides the fact we are over worked and sleep deprived think of the life of a parent, we sit in carpool lines, we sit at office desks, we drive to soccer practice and the grocery store and the bank and the dry cleaners and the doctors office and on and on we sit, sit, sit! By the end of the day who blames us for sitting yet again, or more acurateley callapsing to watch a movie, or TV show, or read a book, or fall asleep.  Now, think of the life of a child the go, go, go all the time I got this idea that the reverse is also true: an active life leads to more energy.  Could it really be that simple I thought? Do kids have so much energy because they approach life with more energy and movement? And so to answer my question I started an experiment with my kids and it is totally working my energy has really soared.

Now, I will be honest, if you don’t exercise already it is not going to feel easy at first, give it time and you will see results.   The experiment is this: Play with your kids, I mean REALLY play with them, I’m not talking about throwing the ball or pushing the swing, I am talking chase them up the slide and down again, ride on the swing beside them, exude all the energy they do.  I never realized how much my five year old hops, yes, he hops like a bunny all the time.  So we hop together now, into the grocery store and on the play ground, and here’s the real thigh burner- up the stairs.  I’ll be honest about another thing you totally got to let go of pride and ego here, I can tell you for certain you are going to get intense stares from unapproving parents and people, but let them gualk, I think their just jealous and besides this is my life and these are my kids who else matters!

The Rise of Darkrai

Yes, my family is in the pokemon stage right now (and still very much into star wars, if we get one more light saber we are going to need to convert the coat closet downstairs into a weapons wardrobe for jedi knights.)

The networks do a great job with promotions, my boys have been awaiting the premier of the “Rise of Darkrai” for weeks, and Sunday it was finally here- a 12 hour pokemon marathon leading up to the movie. Now, we didn’t couch ourselves all day in front of the TV; but we did play hookie from church that Sunday, not too popular a concept among pastors wives, but in my defense sometimes you just need a break. It seems like families today are traveling at light speed and even church can loose it’s purpose and become just another one of the things on your list of tasks and to-dos. So, need less to say, the cold weather, stuffy noses, crazy busy week we just had, (and the pokemon marathon) me and the boys stayed home to rest and play (after all, I think that is sort of what the Saboth day is all about, don’t you…)

When 7pm finally rolled around popcorn was popped, sippy sups were in hand, and we were cuddled up on the couch together ready to watch the movie. We watched this two hour cartoon and then we got ready for bed. I have to say a really neat thing happened, I didn’t realize it when I was watching the moving but afterwards it just all fell into place, the movie was this brilliant example of the powers our prayers have. When I tucked the boys in that night I used the images of the movie to teach them about prayer.

There were these legendary pokemon, sort of deities that live in a separate dimension and they were in a fierce battle. Their battle was so fierce that it actually began to affect the dimension where the people and pokemon were in. The only thing powerful enough to bring peace was to play a song through this fantastically huge contraption (and the song that could save them when it was interpreted was called “prayer.”)

This is what spiritual warfare is all about. There is another dimension just as real as what we see and feel and taste, call it the supernatural realm or the heavenly realm; whatever you call it, it does exist and inside it there are angels and demons battling each other. There is a scripture that says: we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, powers, and principalities in heavenly places. Just as the legendary pokemon’s battle was destroying the world the supernatural battle that is going on right now is also destroying our world. Demons are right now fighting for our demise (the devil is real and he is out to steal, kill, and destroy your life) and angels are defending our lives, our safety, our wellbeing…the amazing thing is God has given us the ability to join in the battle through prayer! Scripture tells us that as one person prays 1,000 demons are scattered from the battle and as two people join in prayer 10,000 demons are scattered from the battle. Victory begins in this world by praying. As we learn to battle in prayer, by using the word of God like a symbolic sword, we reveal truth in this other dimension which strengthens angels and destroys demons. The apostle Paul told us in the book of Ephesians that this was the purpose of the church. Need less to say the boys and I had a great time of prayer together with this fresh image in our mind thanks to “The Rise of Darkrai.”

It’s really amazing the experiences you can have with your kids when you put work and self aside and just become part of their world. We watched this two hour cartoon and then had an awesome time of prayer together. We prayed for the forces that were hindering our adoption of Lucy to be released and for God to rest favor on our file with the foreign government office it sits in so that she could come and live with us as a family! We prayed against spirits of sickness and disease, fear and danger, accident and calamity to be kept from our family and we released waring angels to defend our home, our cars as we ride in them, and our family. Did you know that you can ask for specific things like that? A friend of mine once said, oh, I don’t bother God with requests, he’s Got too much to handle with the world. Nothing could be farther from the truth! God loves you so much, He cares about every detail of your life and He is big enough to handle those details and the world, but He is not going to do it alone. He needs our help, and it starts with prayer.

I get a lot of weird faces from Christians who think pokemon is not okay, I’m so tired of parents or people in general that label books, movies, or toys as evil, if you are wondering about a particular brand just watch it with your kids and use your own judgement. For me, pokemon has represented nothing more than friendship, teamwork, and a spirit of adventure (and now prayer). It’s words like “evolution” that freak Christians out, but it’s just what happens to the pokies the more they learn and the stronger they get, it’s about growth not creation. Beside, when you close your mind over the little things you miss the larger story that is shinning through nearly everything if you’ll just take the time to look for it.